Maisie Paws
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office christmas lunch
well I nearly fell asleep.
two people ended up in tears. Which is quite a high percentage considering there were only five of us there and the majority drinking soft drinks.
We had it in the Harrogate Brasserie. It was very slightly better than last year because I told the waiter we didn't need to sit at the same table he usually offers (the lovely spot by the freezing door), and I got to snooze on a pile of cushions. It was very dark in there, which is what I like. It went quite well with my festive vampiric outfit. The conversation, until I stopped listening, was about car crashes and other worrying things that could easily happen. The food was boring though, as usual. I forgot to take some sauce to put on the cauliflour which they insist on serving with everything. Plain white cauliflour with nothing on it at all. I chose steak because it had a #3 (I still don't know where the pound sign is) surcharge on it. It came absolutely plain with a few chips and cost about #16. That is in contrast with the one I had tonight from the local chinese takeaway which was absolutely delicious and came with gravy, tomato, mushrooms, chopped chilli (my own special request) which I chummed up with noodles and some pineapple and banana fritters soaked in golden syrup - all for a tenner, and the prawn crackers and chopsticks thrown in for free. Yum. And, I got to eat that in bed listening to Bollywood music radio.
Hang on a minute, just got to let Bert in the door. I'm back now. I just found out today (on my way to the chinese takeaway) from my neighbour that when I couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to go downstairs and let him in the other night (he can't use the cat flap because that belongs to Benjy from the working men's club) he managed to get in to the house next door. They have no idea how he got in there but heard him trying to get into their bedroom in the middle of the night. They got up and found he had weed all over their sofa. Poor old Bert. He is the local juvenile feline delinquent. He is even known at the local hairdresser's. I hope you remember he isn't mine. The only house he doesn't manage to get in is his own. Never mind Bert. Come in and widdle on my book collection.
I went to Leeds today. My mates took me in a car. I always have to consider carefully before I go whether it will be worth the feeling car sick. Every time I get almost there, I think 'I will never come to Leeds in a car again'. Then I spend the whole time there dreading having to get back in the car for the return journey. It's usually not so bad on the way back. Not sure why. Something to do with going uphill maybe. Anyway, we went to a German market. It was exactly the same as when I went to one in actual Germany. They brought the little wooden huts with them and the people inside were German and the prices had commas in like euros. I thought the fried potatoes were 45p but they were #4.50 - they tasted good but you know we had already had garlic bread and the potatoes had garlic and the mushrooms had garlic oh I regretted it a bit. garlic and cars. eeeeeeuuuuurrrrrrgggg. I had to grit my teeth.
I chose my own christmas present and now I will have to forget about it until christmas day when i will actually be given it. HeeHee. it's a 4 disc set of jazz music. very mellow. don't have to be clever to understand it. gerry mulligan, ben webster, that sort of thing. It was just sitting next to a set of head phones and all you have to do is stick the bar code under the scanner and you can hear a snippet of every track. By the time I had done all the tracks on all four of the CDs I had to have it. I wanted to sit in an armchair with my slippers on. In reality I was in Virgin records and it was quite difficult to hear the tracks as the music blaring out in the shop was louder and it was something grotesquely christmassy. something about soldiers? you probably know it.
I have been listening to an audio book I downloaded from iTunes (I love iTunes). It's by Alan Watts - do you know his stuff? In this case he was actually being Alan W. Watts for some reason. The book is called Man, Nature, and the Nature of Man. It's eastern philosophical and funny. Admittedly I did find I had snoozed through quite a lot of it but it was very pleasant. Some good bits about yin/yang and not being able to enjoy things if you haven't got something horrible to compare it with. Sorry, I should rephrase that. If you haven't got something horrible with which to compare it. No, that still doesn't work does it. No, I don't think I am supposed to leave a sentence with it at the end. Well, I know I have also been told not to start sentences with but. But sometimes that is just what is needed. And anyway, Charles Dickens did it. it. and.
Oswald (that's Nigel, he prefers it) said my blogs are fading out, getting too sparse and short so this is to remedy that situation though you may be regretting it. it. The man in Bijoux, who goth dresses me, thought Oswald was my son. It could have been worse I suppose. So that's now two children I have managed to spawn since I came to Harrogate. This never happened in London. I think oop here you are supposed to have grown up kids when you are fify. You are not supposed to be eating dinner in bed surrounded by other people's cats and throwing the red cellophane wrappers of cherry liquer chocolates on your bedroom floor. And keeping tubes of jaffa cakes within arm's distance. Or reading five books at once. Or letting your favourite snail slither all over your teashirt leaving a sticky trail. Anything else you think I shouldn't be doing please let me know so I can try and fit it in.
I just had a thought... how come Bert manages to mysteriously get into every house without a cat flap, but I have to go down to open the door for him when I have got a cat flap? Do my readers think there might be some sort of manipulation game going on here?
Maisie
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